An older gentleman walking his monstrously enormous, husky-looking dog on campus today decided that since I was in a wheelchair he would go out of his way to walk the dog over to me so that I could pet it. This post is not an attempt to berate the old man; his intentions were kindhearted and he was old enough that he probably still holds the belief that people like me belong in institutions....
For my final haiku tonight, narrrrr suggested I write about feet. No comment. Ok: The smell of your feet always on my mind. Your toes fill my dreams with hope. There was no way that wasn’t going to get weird. Welp it has been the realest. Sleep tight everyone!
Soccershorts suggested I write a haiku about cheese balls. I love cheese balls, so here we go: Check the expiration. There’s nothing worse than stale cheese balls in your mouth. Ha.
Razorsharpvaginas suggested I write a haiku about unicorns/rainbows. While I normally wouldn’t pick this topic to write about, the fact that it came from razorsharpvaginas was impossible to ignore: Halloween’s coming. Eat too much candy and you’ll Shit rainbows. Yucky.
I want to write some haikus!
Message me some fun ideas for topics and I’ll write my favorite 3!
It would’ve been cool to hide some kind of secret clue in all of my posts since the day I started this blog, so that tonight I could reveal the key to finding and decoding these clues and blow all of your minds with some unbelievable message about aliens and the meaning of life. Too bad I wasn’t smart enough to think that far in advance back when I started. Or maybe I was….
I think I'll try pooping in the litter box...
eosthoughts asked: I have a form of muscular dystrophy very similar to yours. I'm also a college student. I have a really bad stubborn cold right now which is making me have to miss classes. Everything feels so out of my control right now and I can't help feeling like I am letting my professors down. I hate giving the excuse "I cant come to class because I have a cold". How do you deal with...
A few days ago I registered to vote! You should register too! It’s important to make your voice heard. You can register online using this non-partisan website. If you will be 18 before election day, you’re eligible to vote! Don’t forget to re-register if you have changed your name or address. http://nationalvoterregistrationday.org/ p.s.- and if you happen to write my name in...
Have a good day!
My Evening With Michelle
I’m fragile. You shouldn’t be surprised. Putting it simply (because I’m an English major and don’t have the scientific knowledge to put it any other way), the human body is held together by a framework of muscles and bones. SMA is a muscle wasting disease, which you should know by now basically just means my muscles are shitty at doing anything that muscles are supposed to do,...
nathanigoe asked: Hello. I was just wondering about your wirstbands, i really wont one and again just wondering how much it would cost to get one from were you are to Australia?
Anonymous asked: Come to Toronto! we're sarcastic motherfuckers you'll love us :)
If I organized some type of meet-up on a Saturday this fall, would you come? Probably somewhere near Philly I’m thinking? It’s all very hypothetical right now, but I think it’d be cool to meet some of you guys and eat food and tell jokes and have fun together. Thoughts?
I met my future wife at Dunkin’ Donuts today. I don’t think she realized it, but I’m confident.
Anonymous asked: When are we going to get another story!?
fuckingjimmy asked: how do you do?
yasrayes asked: you're so inspirational and i love your blog and i love what you're doing with LAMN! i also love that you find humor in everything, i do too. thats a lot of 'love's'
oliviamonet asked: I just found your blog, which led me to be pissed at the.entire state of GA. Because I live here and not in PA, meaning we can't be best friends.
Life is more beautiful when you're laughing.
Anonymous asked: You're so lovely..