I wish you could have seen the badass MacGyver stunt I pulled this morning to literally save the day.
My parents and brother left the house at 7:00am to go to work and school, so I was home alone. Before they left, I had my dad get me set up with my laptop, which just meant putting it on the dining room table and plugging it into the wall. I was planning on being lazy and watching movies on Netflix all morning until someone came over to help me get lunch.
Once they left and I opened Netflix, it dawned on me that my earphones were plugged into my laptop. Shit. Shit. Fuck. Shit. I can’t put my earphones in my ears on my own because I can’t lift my hands that high, so they were useless in that respect. Additionally, my MacBook refused to play audio through its built in speakers since the earphones were plugged in, so I had no way of hearing the movies I was attempting to watch. The earphones needed to be unplugged if I wanted audio. Morning ruined.
“Maybe I magically got stronger and will be able to pull them out of the earphone jack by myself,” I thought. Then, after literally TWENTY FIVE FUCKING MINUTES of prying and pulling and sweating and cursing, I accepted that I did indeed still have not nearly enough muscles to unplug them.
Following that thought came an idea that I am admittedly proud of. On the corner of my mom’s desk sat a credit card. I wheeled over, and to my delight, was able to lean forward far enough to scoop it up with my now very tired t-rex fingers. Card in hand (or, card on lap, I guess), I returned to my laptop and positioned myself at the perfect angle to carry out my plan. With a swift stab and precise twist, I jammed the credit card in between part of the earphone and the earphone jack. A surprisingly simple nudge was all to took for the card to pop the earphone right out of its hole. Had you seen me perform this feat, the beauty and brilliance of the scene would have either 1. Killed you. or 2. Made you take your clothes off and jump on top of me.
I took a few minutes to cool down then joyously began watching Netflix for the rest of the day.