LAUGHING AT MY NIGHTMARE

In 5th grade, my class took a field trip to a local cave-turned-tourist-trap called Crystal Caverns. Only a very tiny portion of the cave was wheelchair accessible because Mother Nature is an asshole who hates people with disabilities.

My teacher was concerned that I wasn’t going to enjoy the trip, so instead of leaving me to sit outside and chase birds while the rest of the class spelunked the crystally underworld, she decided to make me the videographer for the day, giving me the task of filming and producing an iMovie about the field trip.

Since I couldn’t access much of the cave, the video mostly contained vomit-inducingly shaky shots of the entire bus ride, one shot of the outside of the cave, and an extensive tour of the gift shop, with slow zooms of every item.

For the next few days of school, I was pulled out of class to edit the video in the computer lab. I also skipped a few recesses because I was devoted to making this movie the greatest artistic accomplishment the world had ever seen.

After adding the water-droplet transition between every fucking clip, I chose “Alive” by POD as the soundtrack.

When it was finally completed, the class watched in awe as shots of me slowly perusing the gift shop flashed before their eyes, while POD sang, “I feel so alive for the very first time!” in the background. The film was nominated for three Academy Awards.

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1. caroline1298b reblogged this from laughingatmynightmare and added:

   i cant wait for this movie to come out on blu ray

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19. yaelbunny reblogged this from laughingatmynightmare and added:

    OMFG xD

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33. scatteringsunshine reblogged this from laughingatmynightmare and added:

    this is the best story i have ever heard

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