LAUGHING AT MY NIGHTMARE

You asked for it, and we listened! I’m excited to announce that LAMN, Inc. has FOUR new styles of wristbands available at http://www.laughingatmynightmare.com/apps/webstore/!

Wristbands are $5, with free shipping, and we ship them worldwide! Payment can be made via PayPal or credit/debit card.

Your support will greatly help us raise money for muscular dystrophy research, and develop programs to make the world a more positive place. Additionally, these wristbands will make you look flat out, fucking awesome.

Here are the new styles:

“A Refreshing Frame of Mind” band

Life is hard and full of problems; sometimes the best solution is just to laugh at everything that’s causing you unhappiness. This “laugh.” band will serve as a powerful reminder to you and others around you that life should never be taken too seriously. After all, life is too short to waste time down in the dumps!

This band comes in two styles. The first is black with “laugh.” written in pink on the outside and “LAMN, Inc.” embossed on the inside.

The second is sparkly blue with “laugh.” and “LAMN, Inc.” written in purple on the outside.

“LAMNpoon Those Negative Nelly’s” band

Definition of “lampoon” - To severely ridicule the character or behavior of a person.

Help LAMN, Inc. fight negativity with this sleek gray LAMNpoon band! We’re not promoting being mean to others, but if someone is whining about a petty problem, remind them there’s always a reason to be happy!

This band is a fashionable grey with “LAMNpoon” written on the outside and “LAMN, Inc.” embossed on the inside.

“Building a LAMNasty” band

What do you think of when you hear the word dynasty? The New York Yankees? China and its Great Wall? The McDonald’s fast food chain? Here at LAMN, Inc. we are reinventing the dynasty. Help us build a LAMNasty to destroy muscular dystrophy and teach people to laugh at and overcome the challenges of life.

This band is lime green with “LAMNasty” written on the outside and “LAMN, Inc.” embossed on the inside.

Head over to http://www.laughingatmynightmare.com/apps/webstore/ to get yours today! Thanks!

So here’s the deal… If you live anywhere near Bethlehem (or anywhere near Pennsylvania for that matter) I have a very awesome way for you to help out Laughing At My Nightmare, Inc. this summer AND HAVE AN AWESOME TIME! 

We are hosting a $1000.00 pong tournament (as in beer pong with water) at Roosevelts 21st in Allentown, PA. on Sunday July 29th. It’s $40.00 per team (2 people per team).   

YOU MUST BE 21 TO REGISTER AND PARTICIPATE! REGISTRATION CLOSES THIS SATURDAY JULY 21ST. 

It would be super awesome if some of my followers made the trip to play in this tournament and I would love to meet some of you! Details and a link to register can be found here: http://www.lehighvalleypongassociation.com/. 

Message me if you plan on signing up or have any questions. Thank you so much!

A few posts ago I mentioned I would tell you guys about the random trouble my brother and I get into to entertain ourselves. This is one of those stories and it took place probably 5 to 6 years ago, so I was about 13 and my brother was about 10. Enjoy.

It was a hot and humid summer day in Pennsylvania, and like most other kids our age, we were bored out of our minds. Back then we spent most of our summer days hanging out with our next door neighbor, who was a year younger than me and would eventually grow up to be on of my closest friends (he is the kid in the rainbow vest in the picture I posted). Neither of our family’s had a pool and we were tired of spraying ourselves in the face with the hose, so we settled for shooting hoops in my neighbors back yard.

His house had a large wrap-around driveway, which created a large paved area in the back that was great for all types of sports. My neighbor’s family had recently installed a super-legit, glass-backboard basketball hoop that made us feel like we were training to someday play in the NBA. I can’t shoot a basketball so I would usually just play defense and try to ram my brother’s shins whenever he tried to shoot. I also set picks like a monster. I once almost killed a kid at recess when he blindly ran full speed into one of my immovable wheelchair picks, but I digress (I love saying that).

Anyway, after a while one of us threw out the idea that it would be awesome if we could dunk. Of course that would be awesome, dunking was the coolest thing ever back in those days. Too bad that super-legit basket was also super-too-high for us children to reach. We considered, and even tried using a mini workout trampoline to dunk, but we were just too young and short. By we I mean them, I was just too much in a wheelchair to dunk.

I am admittedly a very stubborn individual sometimes; when I get an idea in my head, I can be extremely annoying/pushy/relentless until I accomplish whatever I am trying to get done. This was one of those times. I knew there had to be a way to help my friends dunk. Before telling them my idea, I told my neighbor to go grab the long rope his parents kept upstairs in case they ever had to climb out a window during a fire. Don’t ask. Whether it is a good or a bad trait, I am also pretty good at manipulating people, not in an evil way, just in the kind of way that I knew once he went through the work of acquiring the rope, he would be less likely to not allow me to at least try my idea.

Once he had the rope I explained that our and his parents might not like what we were going to do but none of them were home and it wouldn’t take long so everything would be fine. My idea was to tie a noose on one end of the rope for my brother to lay in, loop it up over the basketball hoop, and attach the other end to my wheelchair. I would drive in reverse, which would pull my brother up to the height of the rim and he could chill there while we threw him alley-oops. It was perfect and nothing could go wrong.

My brother and neighbor surprisingly agreed and we started setting up the system. My brother, being the youngest and daring-est of the 3 of us, just assumed that he would be the one being pulled up to dunk. On our first attempt, as I slammed my chair into reverse, my brother shrieked in pain and I quickly let him down before he was a foot off the ground. The rough rope on his bare skin (he had his shirt off because it was hot), in addition to his body weight being supported by a rope going across his stomach, apparently hurt pretty bad. I told my friend to go grab a couch pillow.

The next try, with the couch pillow between the rope and my brother’s body, worked much better, and to all of our amazement, he started lifting off the ground towards the basket. I drew you a very detailed picture of what we looked like at that point (I forgot to add my neighbor):

Then we had a problem. My wheelchair ran out of strength to keep lifting him and despite being in full reverse, neither of us were moving. My neighbor ran over, grabbed the rope by me and pulled with me; slowly my brother inched higher. When my brother neared the top he got a lot heavier, which is probably some kind of physics problem, but I don’t understand it. My tires started spinning and we lost a little ground. For a good 5 minutes we battled gravity in this manner, while my brother bobbed up and down like something that bobs up and down.

All of a sudden I heard someone scream, “WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING!?!?!” It was my dad and to my relief he was laughing. He walked over, saw us struggling to keep my brother in the air and said that probably wasn’t very good for my chair. Defeated, we lowered my brother back down and begrudgingly untied both ends of the rope.

Then I had an even bigger problem. I noticed my wheelchair would only turn left; I couldn’t drive in a straight line or turn right at all. My dad noticed too and came over to see if the rope had knocked something out of whack. Angrily, he said everything looked ok and started scolding us for our great idea.

It turned out that our little stunt had completely destroyed both my rear gear motors, both of which had to be replaced at the price of $4000 each. Whoops! Good thing we have insurance!

You have to have fun somehow, and we certainly did.